I’ve spent my whole life thinking I was going to wait till marriage to lose my virginity. In fact, that was really the only option to me. Sex before marriage was considered a sin. If I did it, I wouldn’t be pure, I would lose my “blessings”, etc, etc.
Now, I’m 19, almost 20 and still a virgin. But, I have found someone I want to share my life with. I want to share me with. I want to give him every square inch of me in every way possible. The only problem is my mindset. I don’t know if I can let go of that fear of having sex before marriage.
Half of me doesn’t care. I know that I would still be the same person after as I was before. The other half is the little girl that has had all these religious beliefs shoved down her throat since the day she was born. Would it really make a difference? The feminist in me says no. Your virginity isn’t a tangible, “real” thing. I’m not “losing” anything. The little girl in me says otherwise. That it IS a big deal.
I don’t even know what to think anymore. I’m just lost in this limbo and a meaningless back and forth debate in my head. I wish I could have a straight forward answer, that someone would tell me what to do.